"We spend all our time writing agendas and designing slides. But the reality is, we are asked all the time to speak on the spot - answering questions, giving feedback, making small talk - yet we never practice for it."

~ Matt Abraham

Hello again and thank you for reading PWD. This week I will talk on the podcast How to Speak with Confidence When You're Put on the Spot where Amanda Kersey and Matt Abraham discuss talking in public or highly stressful situations.

Unscripted

When asked about how he became interested in the subject of spontaneous speaking, Abrahams talks about his personal experience with his last name, where he would always be first to be called on the register at school. He tells us that he felt that he was put on the spot a lot. First in the room to be "present", first to go into the exam hall, first to find out his results. He always had to go first.

Our lifelong exposure to cold calls highlights that managing and developing a framework to tackle these situations is important. We spend hours polishing slide decks and scripting talking points yet Abrahams argues that 90% of our impact happens in the spontaneous moments: the hallway chat, the Q&A session, or the sudden request for feedback. I found his observation about business school particularly telling: even the most brilliant MBA students, capable of delivering flawless prepared presentations, often "choke" when simply asked, "What do you think?" The issue isn't a lack of knowledge, it's a lack of agility. We have trained ourselves for the play, but not for the game.

Strategic Mediocrity

I find the most striking piece of advice Abrahams offers is to "strive for mediocrity." This sounds like terrible advice for anyone, but the psychological mechanism behind it is sound. He explains that the pressure to be perfect creates a massive "cognitive load." If you are constantly judging your own words as you speak them - Is this the right word? Is this smart enough? - you are using up the precious brainpower required to actually formulate a coherent thought and to spit it out.

By giving yourself permission to be merely "adequate" or "normal", you paradoxically free up the mental bandwidth to be excellent. It is about quieting the internal critic so the external speaker can function. Abrahams also provides a physiological hack for this: the "Rule of Lung." Before you click unmute or step up to the stage (or unmute on Teams), ensure your exhale is twice as long as your inhale (e.g., three counts in, six counts out). It forces the parasympathetic nervous system to downregulate the "fight or flight" response, effectively hacking your biology to regain control of your psychology. I haven't conducted my own experiments with this technique yet, but breathing will definitely help before a client meeting.

Blueprints

Once the anxiety is managed, how do you actually sound intelligent without a script? Abrahams argues that structure sets you free. If you have a mental map of how you are going to speak, you can focus entirely on what you are saying. He introduces a "Swiss Army Knife" framework that I think every professional should memorise: What? So What? Now What?

• What: The idea, product, or feedback.
• So What: Why is it important to the audience?
• Now What: The next step or call to action.

I agree with this wholeheartedly, I have been using something like this for a long time, but its refreshing to see it so succinctly narrated. I think Abrahams' framework is incredibly versatile. If you are giving feedback, the "What" is the observation ("You spoke too fast"), the "So What" is the impact ("It made you seem unprepared"), and the "Now What" is the remedy ("Next time, slow down"). It turns a rambling, awkward critique into a sharp, actionable insight. He suggests applying this to emails, using the "Now What" (the action required) as the subject line to respect the recipient's time. I definitely will be using this for a lot of my year-end feedback soon!

For social situations, he offers a similar structure for toasts (W.H.A.T.): Why are we here, How are you connected, Anecdote, Toast. It transforms a potentially cringeworthy ramble into a concise "gift" to the recipient. Definitely very useful when someone asks you for a speech at a party.

Mastery

Ultimately, spontaneous speaking is not a magic talent bestowed on the charismatic few: it is a muscle built through repetition. Abrahams compares it to an athlete running drills around cones - you can't predict the game, but you can sharpen the reflexes.

He concludes with a concept called "Pace, Space, Grace." We must slow down (Pace), take a step back to view the context (Space), and trust our intuition (Grace). For those of us who fear "blanking out," he suggests keeping a "back pocket question" ready, such as "How does this apply to your current project?" This buys you time to think while keeping the audience engaged.

We cannot rely on the crutch of a slide deck or some memorised talking points forever. The most critical conversations of our careers will happen without them, and being a better agile communicator is key to getting your voice heard.